What a year, having read and put up a post (the 10 things Sarah said) I knew that I had not written what was in my heart; two things happened yesterday that pushed me, (I will tell you later what they were) so here goes.
I spent New Years day alone, so I had time to reflect on the year, my thoughts jumped around. Thinking about governor Palin and all she has been through this past year. There was a feeling of hope, as thoughts of this lady who is willing to stand up and use her voice to speak for all of us who still believe in the America of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln and yes Ronald Reagan regardless of the nastiness, lies that people write or said about her. But you do not have to wonder how she is able to keep standing, because she has told us; her Faith in God knowing that she has given her life to Him and he is in control.
Yesterday, Missy from Mississippi said in her post “The timing of God is KNOWING and DOING. Once you know His plans and purposes for your life, you can confidently go forward putting them into action. He will make you time sensitive so you can cooperate with His guidance.” Can we all see Sarah Palin in this statement? I can but it hits me on a personal level.
As I reflected on 2009, my thoughts had gone to, what was God’s plan for me? What was His purpose for my life? Why was I still around? I realized I do not know the answers, maybe it is just to show others that you can survive after losing what you feel is your life and this includes the faith that you had always lived you life by; if you will just take one day, one year at a time and search your heart over and over to find that one small seed of faith so it can grow to the point where your heart no longer feels dark and you know hope. And you know I do believe in God’s timing, although I don’t always understand it and am very guilt of wanting things in my timing.
Thank you Missy and I hope you did not mind me using your statement.
My mind as I said jumped around a-lot; governor Palin’s book had come out and like her Facebook post it was a major hit. She was able to tell her story; she told again why she resigned as governor, the reason was in black and white one more time, she told us of the loss of a baby named Tad. Within the book she told us a love story, love for her mom and Dad, sisters and bother. The love between she and Todd, her children, her love for the state of Alaska and it people; we read about her love for the men and women in uniform , her love for America. But folded within each word she told us about her love for God which ties all of who she is together, yes the book was a love story; and when you put it down you know for sure who she is and how she became that person.
So many things this past year, the HCB, the Tea Party Movement; but the one thing that has bothered me and others and I believe Sarah Palin the most this past year is the feeling that the ones we have elected to service us no longer listen to we the people. We have elected a president that does not seem to like America or at best doesn’t understand the averages American. So many things this past year in this arena we call politics.
My mind thought of some of the good of 2009, most of it personal; meeting someone named Upinak in the comment section of C4P (and yes being corrected about something in Texas history lol). It was Upinak who invited me to blog on ThePalination, wow I was scared, I am not a writer but I sure wanted to try; You and Upinak all need to know how much I appreciated your acceptances of me and what I have to say, also all the help you have given me, you all (okay I am from Mississippi you all) need to know blogging has help me regain some my confidence, it still surprises me when someone reads what I have written and leaves a neat comment.
I thought about my children, grandchildren oh yes I am old great-grand children, they are all doing great; Oh, then I thought about the littlest one. In June God had blessed us with a beautiful baby girl (and if any of you gone on my Facebook you have seen her). She is 6 months old, she has reached the age where she grabs me with her little hands on both sides of my face and gives me big wet kisses; oh, I am teacher her how to say Sarah, her mother says if I do not stop she is going to think her name is Sarah (so they got me two goldfish one named Sarah and the other named Palin, hoping that their kid will not think her name is Sarah). Yes there were some neat things that happened to me this year. I have worked hard at putting my yesterdays in the past just letting them be part of who I am today, but this time of the year some of them always catch my heart off guard. I written about a few past New Years Days and what they were like for me so I will attach it to this post.
Thank all of you for allowing me to be part of this great place known as ThePalination…
The two reasons I wrote this, first was Missy’s statement that I quoted. Second my grandchildren and that great-grandbaby. I spent the day with them and some of their friend yesterday, watching as they played in the snow and later watching a movie with; I think it was called Bucket List. It was funny they did not know what a bucket list was. When I told them, they ask me if I had one, I told them I did. They wanted to know what was on it and had I marked anything off. I would not tell them what was on my list; they were too young they would not understand anyway. So this is why I decided to write what I really felt on New Years Day. A statement made by Missy and a Bucket List.
Happy New Year
Lynda
THE YEAR GONE BY
New Years Day 2005
I have written many words this past year…most were of loss…sadness…fear and the feeling of no Hope…I have written of the tears cried…so strong there seemed to be no ending…such unbearable feelings of loss that only darkness filled the spaces within my heart…where in times past Faith and Joy and or life had been
I have written of begging as I knelt at a grave for God to help me…to show me a way out of the darkness…to help me know Faith again
I have written of the help from others…the love they have given…not always understanding their actions…and sadness of the loss of the ones who no longer wanted me as part of their lives
I wrote of courage in the face of death…of unconditional love…of a Faith so strong they were able to accept each day as a gift from God
Today I stood with a simple balloon, that said Happy New Year…I looked into the clouds not knowing what I would feel … when I released in it into God’s Heavens
I watched as it went higher and higher…it seemed to know where it was going…higher and higher it went… taking on a life of its on…it was at that moment I realized that instead of sadness in my heart there was Joy…no tears on my face…but in the bright sunshine a smile a feeling of hope renewed
With the release of a balloon…I had begin to let go of my life of yesterdays…and with Faith I could start to face what were to be my tomorrows…knowing that there would still be times of sadness, feelings of loss, fear, and tears…
Many words written……………Many tears cried
